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Ariana Jollee
Among his many axioms, maxims and proverbs, Benjamin Franklin is rarely credited with the now famous, "a load in every hole." There are several reasons for this, one being that gangbangs had yet to be copyrighted, but Franklin, among his many inventions, would soon take care of that; that historians in their zeal to re-write the story of this country were quick to overlook the notion that Franklin and others of his randy ilk were unquenchable vagina hounds; and, most importantly, the more simple fact that Ariana Jollee was a few centuries away from being born. Women in Ben's day, you see, were far too prissy, uptight and concerned with cooking porridge and sewing flags to be servicing the far greater needs of their country. Census-wise, and you can look it up, men way outnumbered women in the new world, thus a multi-holed woman with a smile and an accommodating attitude would be seen as a welcome respite for troops frozen in by ice jams on the Delaware River. Had governments subscribed to a more carnal way of tackling issues, grievances may have been settled far differently. But that's only a theory.
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